“You are worthy”
“You are enough”
You read these well meaning quotes on the internet and perhaps you even repost them as reminders and notes to self. But they get lost in your feed and nothing ever really changes.
Here is the thing about affirmations like this.
Reciting something that seems so far off of where you are at this moment can feel more like a pipe dream than a reality.
It is important to know that you are enough
It is crucial to believe that you are worthy.
But if you are so far removed from these beliefs then how possibly can they serve you?
I see the Hashtag #knowyourworth thrown around often by women who very obviously do not know their worth.
Fake it til you make it is a good way of aligning yourself with the dreams and desires of your heart, acting “as if” you have what you want until you get it.
But you have to know what makes you feel unworthy. You have to release the resistance to the idea that you do not believe you are worthy, so that you can actually start to feel worthy.
You see, many woman are ashamed to admit that they don’t feel good enough or worthy.
You know it in your bones that this is why you keep choosing men who are less than what you desire, but you are not so quick to admit that the reason you are okay with your date being late, cancelling for the umpteenth time, bailing, pulling disappearing acts, not giving a crap about your day or your life is either because you don’t feel you deserve better or that better even exists anymore.
I know it sounds sad to read it out loud. But listen, feeling bad only makes shame worse. I will be the first to tell you that I do not feel bad for you. Not one little bit. Because there is nothing to feel bad about. You see, I know that you are worthy and deserving and so capable and while I don’t feel bad, I can certainly empathize. I can let you know that it is safe for you to feel the way you do without believing that it is bad or wrong.
You are just currently in a state of mind that is causing you to settle for less and stay small.
Although this is a little bit tragic, what I do know from years of personal experience is that you do not have to stay there.
So how do you go from picture quote and hashtag to living and breathing your worth?
1, You figure out what you currently believe about your worth.
2. You admit it. You stare your belief right in it’s lying face and you tell it “I SEE YOU and everything that comes from you”
3. You get real about it. You dig deep into all of the choices you make because you do not feel worthy of more. At this point you will probably cry, and that’s okay. Remember not to feel bad for yourself but to take a stand for yourself.
4. Forgive yourself. This is where you can have compassion for yourself. See the wounded parts of you and let yourself know that no matter what happened in the past, it is okay now. You are forgiven and it is time to move forward.
5. Love yourself, even your mistakes. Everything you thought made you less of who you are is just a part of the colourful mosaic that you are and nothing is ever truly a mistake. The word itself says “mis-take” meaning you were just a few steps off of where you deserved to be.
Every single thing you felt that was wrong about you, let it be right.
6. Choose affirmations that feel more in alignment with where you are right now. Ask yourself what you need. Ask yourself what you want and then create statements that support that.
“I know I have chosen differently in the past but I am willing to choose better now”
“Even though I have not felt worthy of this before, I choose to believe that I am worthy now”
“In this moment, I am enough”
“With all of my quirks, nuances and eccentricities I choose to love and accept myself”
Meet yourself where you are at right now and getting to where you want to be will be a lot less overwhelming and much more possible.