Go Through Hell

I had planned this blog for this week and it turns out it has been the week from

image1 (1)hell for me, fitting, to say the least.

Without getting into details, my life, as probably most of you can relate, has been quite the blend of heaven and hell. There have been really great moments mixed with moments of sheer pain and despair.
The thing about me though is that for the longest time I would avoid the “hell”. It wasn’t so much that I was living in bliss or in ignorance. No, instead I was just choosing to resist and fight reality and stay stuck where I was to avoid the pain and agony of facing the “hell” in front of me (or behind me.)
But I didn’t always recognize this. I didn’t always know I was suffering so much and feeling like life was just shit because I was avoiding feeling anything besides the familiar feelings I already knew.
I learned to become comfortable in pain and darkness. I learned to be okay with staying where I was so that I didn’t have to move through any discomfort to get to where I needed to be.
It was not until one really dark night lost on a back road that I finally had my “a-ha” moment.
I had been driving for a while when My GPS took me down a road that did not at all seem like the kind of road I should have been taking to my destination and yet.. I kept going. A dirt road narrowed into one lane, no street lights, no cell phone service, half a tank a gas, 2 hours left on my journey, 2 hours away from home, not a soul in sight, I started to panic. As my phone came in and out of signal it was like a sick joke the universe was playing on me. As soon as my call would connect I would instantly lose connection, there was no reaching out for help this time. As I couldn’t find a spot to turn around, snow showing up just a few km from where there was no snow, tree branches down, it was like the plot of a scary movie.. my least favourite kind of movie! I started to envision old people with pitch forks and torches chasing down my car… I guess I have quite the imagination at times.
Anyhow, It was in this moment of panic I had the serious thought to just pull my car over and curl up in the backseat and just let whatever was gonna happen, happen. I just wanted to close my eyes and pretend I wasn’t here and this was not real.
I knew how scary the road was behind me and I had no idea what was ahead or how long it would take to get there and I didn’t want to endure either.

But then I had a little chat with myself, because that’s what you do when no one else is around, and I opted to turn around when I found a spot to do so. This literally felt like “hell” to me because it was terrifying, because I knew how many tree branches I had to squeeze past because I had no idea how far I had really come and how long it was going to take to get back and what the road would be like facing it from another direction and yet, I did it.

And once I did finally make it out and back into civilization and the wide open road I pulled over and first thanked the universe and then sat with my thoughts.

I realized how many times in life I had stopped myself from going forward into the unknown and through what felt like the worst possible experiences just to avoid feeling anything different from how I was feeling inside already.

Despite my positive outlook and joy for life, I have never lived in extreme bliss with a rose coloured perception of what is really happening. I have seen some very dark days and I have imagined what it might be just to free myself of the pain and suffering I’ve endured.

I’ve resisted reliving moments of my past and instead almost forgetting them just to avoid the sting of the pain of remembering. But the thing is, they happened and no amount of forgetting will make it go away and leaving this life behind wouldn’t be serving anyone, especially my soul that still has so much work left to do.

In recent years I have had to relive things that rip me apart inside, like I feel like I am being gutted. Things I wish never happened but now understand happened for me, not to me, as fucked up as that may be.
I have learned that no matter how scary or hard or bumpy or rocky or shady the road ahead, I must keep going, or go back through what was already once painful and face it head on just to break out in the wide open freedom of the world.

There is no way to avoid the pain that comes with this life, you must go through the hell to see the light, and I promise, there is light.

*Please know that if life ever gets too hard you can always reach out to someone for help. You don’t have to do it alone. I am always here as a listening ear also ♥*

So much love and light from my heart to yours



Men: What your erection may be telling you about your heart.

While erectile dysfunction can be related to things such as stress and emotions, there is another factor that could be affecting your erection (or lack thereof) that is far more concerning than a brain that won’t shut up.

In the past I have talked about how a vegan diet can improve your sex life, but I never gave much info as to why.

Here it is, listen up.

Your erection, as you may know, is a result of an extreme increase of blood flow to the penis.

It makes sense then that if that blood flow were somehow restricted, your erection too would be restricted, or non-existent.

It is absolutely possible that your erectile dysfunction is due to something such as an emotional disconnect, hormone levels, stress at work or home or depression.

But, when it seems as though there is no viable reason for your lack of erection it’s time to dig a little deeper, to your heart.

Atherosclerosis is when the blood vessels are not able to dilate properly. This is due to damage to the arteries where calcium and other debris from the body builds up on the artery wall along with cholesterol your body has created, to protect and keep things running smoothly. Unfortunately left untreated the artery breaks down further or becomes completely congested, stopping the blood flow completely and this is when someone would experience a heart attack. The thing about atherosclerosis is that it does not just affect the blood vessels of the heart, is affects vessels over the entire body.

You see where I am going with this?

Atherosclerosis affects many parts of the body, but it seems that it affects the penis first. This, in the grand scheme of things, can be a good thing. Think of it as an early, fixable warning sign.

If you are experiencing ED, or other signs of atherosclerosis then there is a chance your heart needs a check-up.
There are very natural ways of reversing heart disease. The #1 in my opinion is by adopting a healthy, whole foods, plant based diet.
There is also eating clean, fresh fruits and vegetables and a high fibre diet to help remove excess cholesterol from the body.

If you know you need an overhaul with your eating habits, please feel free to contact me for a consult to see how we can get you on track to better health, and get that sex life pumping again!

Much love from my heart to yours
Janine ♥

My favourite Vegan Caesar Salad

I haven’t made this salad in quite some time but after receiving this text from my bestie last week I was inspired to whip one up.


(don’t mind the text typo, auto correct doesn’t get everything right lol)

This recipe is adapted from Alicia Silverstone’s “The Kind Diet”.

It’s pretty quick & easy and always delicious… okay not always, once I added WAY too much garlic. (Apparently too much garlic IS possible sometimes lol)

So here is how it’s done
You will need:

1 head of romaine lettuce torn into bite sized pieces


  • 2 tablespoons blanched almonds
  • 2 garlic cloves
  • 3 tablespoons Dijon mustard
  • 2 tablespoons (gluten-free) Tamari/Soy Sauce
    1 tablespoon tahini
    (I made my own with 1 tbsp Sesame seeds added to food processor with 2 tbsp of oil)
  • 3 tablespoons fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
  • 1⁄2 sheet nori, broken down into small pieces (I just crumble it in my hands over top of the salad)

Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender, add small amounts of water to desired consistency; process until smooth and well blended.
Add dressing to the lettuce, sprinkle with nori & any protein of your choice.

I chose to fry strips of tofu to mimic the traditional addition to Caesar salad, and then my Gluten-Free Bestie added to the deliciousness with a DAIYA Cheese Pizza!
Friday was tastbud heaven that’s all I have to say about that!
image2Oh, and of course a glass (or two) of Vino. hehe.

Also, You may be wondering how caesar salad is not vegan?
Well regular caesar dressing usually calls for eggs yolks, and some dressing actually includes anchovies.

I hope you try this, and love it as much as we did!!

So much caesary, dairy free cheesy
Love to you!

Janine ♥